Down A Step
by Imagine Brittana
Summary: If Edward was a human then what would Bella be? The answer: A pig. Find out what the Cullens think when they find out what Edward's secret love really is in this one-shot. Don't read if you don't like the sound of it. Rated T just to be safe.


**A.N. Many people probably won't like this, so if you don't like the sound of it then don't read it. I only wrote this as a bit of fun and because I was bored; I actually came up with the idea in the queue to the Saw ride at Thorpe Park.**

* * *

Sitting in a field with the love of my life I reflected on how much she had changed things. Bella. Her name brought with it warmth that enveloped my entire being, and a fire that spread throughout my body, not leaving a patch bare. I knew when my family would meet her that things wouldn't go too well; I didn't realise just how bad it could go though.

I had never realised just how empty my life had been until she entered it and lit my path like a tiki-torch floating in front of me.

Me and my family are vegetarians, so you can imagine the surprise they held when they found out I was in love with a…a...pig. How I hated that word, Bella was anything but! They all thought I was crazy because of my 'infatuation' with her, after all any normal person would be surprised anyway, but when you add the meat-lust into the equation it opens up a whole new world.

FLASHBACK

"Hey everyone!" I greeted walking through the front door into my overly big house.

"Yo Eddo. Do we get to meet your secret girl yet?" Emmett responded, excitement etched onto his face.

"Fine, I suppose," I grumbled, everyone's head shot up to stare at me in disbelief.

"Finally! I can't wait to meet her, is she pretty? Does she like dressing up?" Alice rambled.

"I'm glad we finally get to meet her, son," Esme sounded so happy and proud, it was hard not to smile.

"Oh my god, I can't believe it! I was beginning to think she was made up, or your secret _boyfriend_ or something, I mean why can't tell us? I know, is she an alien, bogeyman, vampire, demon-?" Emmett squealed.

Getting angry with Emmett was no hard task, so when I shouted no-one was surprised at all "SHUT UP EMMETT! And no, I am not gay and I will never have a secret boyfriend, okay?"

"Sheesh, calm down, I'm just excited. I was actually thinking you were going out with Jacob Black or Mike Newton because you 'hate' them, even though I always catch you shooting sly glances at them. Actually...one time I was so sure you guys had a threesome or something; it was probably just the video i watched the night before though-"

"I said SHUT UP! AND EWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Oooh. Someone's a bit overprotective about their sexuality, aren't they?"

"Whatever, lets go then!" Rosalie cut in, not caring less about my precious Bella.

Climbing into my Volvo I waited for everyone else to get in as well. Driving down the lane I was suddenly overcome with nerves. "Please be nice, she may not be what you expect but I love her, so just take that into account when you see her. Remember she is called Bella."

"Of course dear, we wouldn't dream of it!" Esme comforted me, glancing at Rosalie.

Pulling up outside the barn I jumped out of my car and slammed the door shut, not worrying about the paintwork. Everyone looked at each other confused, but followed me anyway. Opening the doors I stepped inside and my eyes found Bella's beautiful, deep eyes straight away and I got lost in them. Im my peripheral vision I could see my family looking around wildly , but I couldn't tear my eyes away from her.

"Ha! Edwards in love with a pig!" Emmett shouted, pointing to the middle of the floor where my Bella lay. I was actually surprised he figured it out first. No one even glanced over at Emmett, they were all still trying to find her.

"Emmett, don't you dare say that! Now where is she? I'm sorry dear, he likes joking around, don't you Emmett…" Esme seemed shocked by his behaviour, and tried to fix it.

Walking slowly toward Bella my family noticed my movement and realised Emmett's statement was the actual truth and watched in shock as I sat down next to her and put my hand over her hoof.

Emmett decided to speak up again "well, you can't say it's not a pig surprise! Get it? HAHAHA!"

Noticing Rosalie was about to speak next I covered Bella's ears with my hands, "WHAT? You're in love with a PIG? With a dirty, smelly, mud encrusted PIG?" she screamed. My hands were removed from Bella's ears when she jumped up and hid behind me, squealing in fright.

"Calm down babe," Emmett tried to soothe her.

"Well, I for one think it's great! It is love after all. I know…I can design outfits for her and give her make-overs!" Alice trilled excitedly.

"I'm not sure if I'll be able to control myself. Just looking at her I can imagine the juicy, succulent pork, all the sausages it could make! All of the possibilities make my mouth water just thinking about it!" Jasper exclaimed guiltily.

"I don't know son…I'm not sure if Jasper has the control, and how can you love something you can't talk with?" Carlisle piped up.

"WHAT? So you're saying that no one can fall in love with a mute, eh? That's nonsense!"

"No…maybe talk isn't the right word,, communicate. You can't communicate with a pig, Edward!" Carlisle corrected himself while Rosalie nodded smugly.

"So someone can't love a coma patient then? That's the same, you can't argue with that!" I argued.

"Fine, whatever. I just hope you know what you are doing."

Finally adding her input Esme told me "I'm happy for you. If this is what you really want then I support you in whatever you choose."

END OF FLASHBACK

My family had eventually accepted that our love was, is real and let me carry on with my life with Bella. That's why I was sat in a field, wearing a suit, with Bella next to me wearing a custom made, Alice design, wedding dress. Most of my family hadn't been very happy with the marriage, but they got over it. The local newspaper was there for the ceremony, recording the happenings of it and opinions of my family.

Alice was overjoyed and started planning as soon as she found out. Esme was glad to gain another daughter and Emmett a sister. Rosalie was livid on the basis that Bella is a pig, and Jasper was still worried about his control. Carlisle was indifferent to the whole matter, but worried for when Bella's age catches up with her and what it would do to me.

Sighing I stood up and gathered Bella in my arms. Strapping Bella in my car I got in my side and started for the airport, eager to get away from my family and just relax for a bit. Eager to get away for our honeymoon.

* * *

**A.N. Well that is it, I hope you like it. Please review and let me know what you liked best.**

**Sorry if I offended anyone by any content in this, please accept my apologies if I did.**


End file.
